Please share!

This has been a hard one for me, because the answer is they've changed a lot and I don't like to admit it. The friends who don't have kids are much harder to keep up with. While they try to be understanding of interrupted, infrequent, or nonexistent communication, they don't really 'get' it like other parents. I get tired of trying, or feeling guilty for not spending the time like I used to, and so I just let things lapse. Kid-less guy friends seem more understanding then my girlfriends somehow, as there's usually no 'wish I had one' tension lurking. In general though, every friendship I have has taken a huge hit in terms of time invested, and some have almost disappeared. Friendships with other moms are the easiest and most plentiful of course. Then again, there's a huge joy in going out with a single friend on the rare occasions that I can, who doesn't really want to talk kid details, and lives a totally different and distantly remembered lifestyle. It's refreshing :)

Being an at-home mom, homeschooler, and quite busy, friendships have been quite limited to - well, at-home mothers who homeschool. I try to develop friendships with other mothers with whom I have common interests and whose children seem to gel with mine. It's been a huge blessing to know so many mothers who home-school, giving my children many outings and many friends. I don't get out - ever - beyond daytime hours since during the day is when I have a lot more "free time" (if there is such a thing) and my hubby is working. Once he's home, since our time is so limited, I like to be around for family time. It does not bother me in the least bit to stay home in the evenings as my "alone time" consists of daily jaunts to the local gym where my children are well taken care of for two hours while I workout, shower and put on makeup completely uninterrupted (unless, of course, I get the "page" to change a dirty diaper). Working out is my passion and a "must-do," for sanity's sake, so once that is done for the day, the rest of the day can go however and I'm game. My new year's resolution was to put on makeup everyday and not wear my husband's clothing. It's been difficult as sometimes I don't quite see the point as a lot of days I am going home to stare at my four walls, but I have kept it up so far for 8 whole days.

Friendships have changed and evolved since I have had kids. I am a full-time working mom so many friendships are with co-workers (male & female). Recently, my older daughter has started school which had provided a catayst for meeting other moms. So far the relationships have not developed much past the occasional playdate. Many of the women I meet have long established friendships with other women making it difficult for me to join in or even feel excited about extending the energy on a new friendhsip. Friendships and relationships that time to develop and continue. With time so precious one also has to make choice to continue the effort to keep in contact or simply move on to someone's interest who may currently be more like our own. Friendships an important part of life to help keeping one sane difficult to develop and foster and maintain.

When I think of friendships, I well remember a close friend nudging me out of my comfortable solitude when she said I made her feel like I didn't need her as a friend because I didn't often initiate contact. And that was even before we had children. I am glad she pointed that out to me so long ago because it was a very important point that I was not aware of. After children came along I know that I spent more time with moms who had children the same ages as ours, when our children were younger. Now that they are teenagers my time with friends can take many different shapes. I especially enjoy meeting weekly with another mother, as we focus together on being a better wife & mother & making sure we take time to pray together. I love people of all ages and feel that there is so much to learn from those who are older too. I remember a comment made at the Ecola Bible School graduation where our son attended earlier this year. The speaker stressed the importance of always having someone in your life that is pouring into you and also having another person in your life that you pour into. It makes me think of the Dead Sea, no outlet, no life.

My friends kids grew up way before mine!

So now my friends are a bit younger than me but I like to have young "kiddy" fun....so who cares!!!!

Someone, someday, might think my son is my Grand child. Boy, will I get onto sanemoms to post here that day!