Please share!

Being a mother is both (at the very same time)the most incredibley exciting and most boring thing a person can be / do .

Relax! Do not throw away those relaxation techniques you learned in birthing class after the kid is born. (They are especially useful when they become teenagers.) Enjoy your child for who they are at that moment in time. They change so quickly into new more developed people. Relax and enjoy watching it happen. And remember, if you do something to mess them up, it just gives them something to talk about with their therapist when they get older! ;-)

I'm always on the brink of using my favorite quote, "Having a baby is like throwing a hand grenade into a marriage." I usually refrain from saying it because it's such a negative comment; however that doesn't make it untrue. So, I soften the approach somewhat by saying, "Be prepared to feel overwhelmed and put-upon; you will want to blame your partner for everything, so keep communication as open as possible. Ask for what you need and make room for some time for yourself as well as time re-connecting with your partner."

O,K, if you are on the "Brink" I assume meaning pregnant, and perhaps getting near birth.

There are a couple things I learned from the birth experience so this is a long post.

The biggest one was to be FLEXIBLE about the birth!!
Throughout my life I was scared of labor ever since I heard "Carol Burnett" describe it as "pooping" a football. Jeez!! A FOOTBALL? How would I EVER do that?

But, I wanted to start off on day 1 being the perfect Mom (which I just read about on sanemoms yesterday) so I decided I was going to do it completely natural, No epidural, no pain medicine (which I wrongly thought would injure the baby)....just handle it completely through breathing and hubby support.

Did I mention I am also a baby when it come to pain? :-) Well, somewhere about 18 hours (out of 30) into labor the pain was getting pretty bad, and since I was induced pretty early, I had not made huge progress in dilation(sp?) and effacing(sp?) So I knew I still had a LONG while to go.

The nurses, and then again the Doctor when he came to visit me, offered an epidural or meds. I kept explaining how I thought that natural would be the best. My Doctor (who was voted #1 in my medium sized city by other Doctors for their wives to use) asked me why? I said I didn't want to hurt the baby, and I whispered that I thought it might make me look "weak". I don't remember his exact words after 4 years now, but he was sooooo very compassionate and explained how the meds wouldn't hurt the baby, or certainly not the edidural which would have no effect on the baby. He was so sweet, and I was in such pain that I decided to try the epidural.

All I can say is Thank God for science and technology! Suddenly I was pain free. I could feel the tightening of the contractions, which felt weird but the pain had disappeared as soon as they got the IV in my spine and the medicine pumping in. I was then able to enjoy my husband and Mother being there, and we watched a Movie and played "Pinch me...see if I can feel it. (I couldn't)

When it is time to push, you can see from the monitor the contraction coming on and really start feeling the tightening, so you are able to go at it with pushing. The epidural IS turned down a bit for the pushing, so it's more productive, but that was nothing at that point...I just wanted my son OUT...due to the pressure and the overwhelming urge to push.

So, in the end, I changed my plans, (which I know is not for everyone) but I had a wonderful experience after I let go of my "perfectness" and allowed help to be given.

Oh, one more thing....tell everyone, and be you be prepared for the (in my case) HUGE hormonal swing that happens the first week to ten days after giving birth. You may really feel like a different person, and it's normal. I couldn't sleep....for some reason I irrationally felt the baby would be in danger if I didn't have my eyes on him for 24 hours a day. So, while my husband slept, I kept my hand on the craddle next to my bed and stared at him. He had to be fed every 2 hours being 5 weeks premature, so I probably wouldn't have gotten deep sleep anyway.

My husband was so concerned that he called my OB. My Doc said "Give it another few days, her body's hormones have just crashed and it affects everyone to differing degrees". Sure enough, after about 10 days, I was like "What was all that craziness I just did"? It changed back to more normal levels like overnight.

So don't be worried if you are a bit "freaked out", or not yourself for a week....that too will pass, and your baby will be fine and you'll be back to normal in no time! Unless you're a mess anyway....there I can't give advice...just joking! I always do that.

Hope this helps all the soon-to-be Mommy's!!!!!
CAH

P.S....But you didn't hear me say ANTHING about getting more sleep...you gotta catch a few ZZs whenever you can snatch it!

Sleep as much as you can before the baby comes (Lord knows you won't get much post-birth). Don't be shy about leaning on your family and friends when they offer help (like having them do the dishes or a load of laundry). Make sure you have a good digital camera and video camera (every minute is worth capturing). You are on the brink of jumping down the rabbit hole ... and it will be the greatest adventure of your life.

I encourage new moms to accept help after the baby is born. There is no shame in letting a mother-in-law load your dishwasher. It doesn't diminish you in your efforts to be super-mom. Those first months after a baby is born are for mom and babe to do nothing other than bond with each other. Mom cannot do that if she is folding laundry when the baby is sleeping - she should be sleeping too, together if possible!

What I don't say is just as important as what I do say. I never tell a mom that this might be the last day she has clean hair and clothing consistently for awhile (even though it is). I never tell her that babies spit up all the time and sometimes that is enough to make you cry. I never tell her that someday, that beautiful baby growing in her womb is going to be 5 years old and yelling "I don't love you anymore!" at her. All those things can be discovered with time, and why invite tomorrow's worries into today?

I would say, most of all, let yourself feel it all and enjoy it all. I'm not saying everything is going to be blissful. You'll be amazed, scared to death, angry, overwhelmed, exploding with joy and full of the most amazing love you will ever know. You'll find youself selfish sometimes, tender and gentle at others, and ready to cry in thankfulness or bite the hand off someone who offers you a bowl of strawberries. Every moment will probably bring a new emotion, and you and everyone around you may be completely bewildered by this. But you know what? It's OK. It's absolutely OK. Let yourself feel it all and cherish every one of those feelings. Remember them, share them, and in the bad moments, know that this too shall pass. There is just no other experience you can compare this to, and though there will be many other breathtaking moments as you raise this tiny child, nothing will ever be quite like touching a miracle again. Enjoy it.