Have you lost it somewhere in the shuffle?

I don't know that I've lost my identity, but I have noticed that my priorities have changed. A few days ago, when give free hours to roam a bookstore at will - something I used to do all the time but which like everything else has become a treat rather than a normal activity - I realized that I was happily spending my time in the chldren's section. Part of it is that I have so little time to read, and so many books backed up, I don't feel like I need anymore books. But part of it also is that my daughter loves books, and part of my new joy is being able to find books that ithink she will like, and to share them. I recently stumbled on one about snowmen that she's fallen in love with, and suddenly I am having visions of this being a christmas tradition, a treasured, dogeared book to be kept for generations. Is that losing my identity, or just adding something new?

I have to add, though, I know part of my feeling of still being myself is staying at work. Much as I love being a mom, I can't imagine what it would be like to be home all day with just the baby, every day. Definitely not for me, but God bless the moms who can do it!

I did for a while, definitely. Right around the time I turned 30 and my mother died, I had a dawning realization that I needed to live some of my life for myself and not forget totally who I was, outside of who I was to everyone else, you know? It took a few years to fight my way back into having a self-identity outside of wife and mother, but I did manage. And now I put effort into cherishing and feeding that identity, and I think it makes me a better mom and wife to have that part of myself intact.