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Stumbling across The BadAssMama Chronicles site yesterday got me thinking. In particular, this post about resenting changes hit home, and I started connecting the dots between some things that have been swirling around in my head lately. Community, and how it works (or not) in today’s society. Resentment and frustration (mine particularly) and what’s been causing it. More things that came to me in the shower this morning, and I hope come back before I’m done writing. I’m not the only one who thinks best in the shower, am I?
April’s almost over, and I’ve felt a bit like I’m floating above the surface of things most of the month. Not quite grounded, not quite flying, just a wee bit untethered. I’m guessing it has to do with the recent possibility that we might actually be moving out of the city before the year is out. Something we’ve longed for for years, but not found a way to accomplish until recently.
The sun was warm, the company good, the wine perfectly sweet. Soaking up family … both my own, and my own. Where I come from, and what we’re creating. Heritage, progeny. Talk of family trees and ancestors, mixed with the barefoot patter of my boys as they hunted for eggs.
Getting away. Getting a taste of different air, fresh textures under your toes, and new views out of strange windows. I need these things, need them like I need to breathe. I’m tempted to analyze and delve into why that is, but navel-gazing doesn’t suit a Friday night.
once again the words are stuck, pictures are all i have for now. my heart’s been heavy with thoughts of trayvon. my time occupied with helping my husband move out of his studio, and prepping to once again have guests in our frontroom. the purge of stuff continues on several fronts, so there’s a stoop sale in the near future and the boys can’t wait. weather warms, spring catapults forward at a lovely but disturbing rate, and i gather things to be thankful for as armor for my days.