Down to the wire ...
Saturday, December 31, 2011 at 06:48PM 
Happy New Year to all my mom (and a few non-mom!) readers! It’s been a rather crazy ride the last few days, and my post yesterday was rather cryptic but from the heart. I’ve been struggling with some things that are dear to my heart, and hospitality is one of them. I said to my husband awhile back that I want to get over the “we can only have company when we have money” idea, as I let it prevent good times too often. It doesn’t take fancy meals and lots of wine to have a good time with friends, but I seem to fall back on the notion that it’s too chancy to invite folks when were down to pennies in the bank.
I was tested on that this week, with company on the way and a vital incoming check that bounced for some silly signature issue. I freaked out, thinking that I couldn’t afford to feed the friends that were coming because it would take the last food in the fridge, and I had no idea when we’d get things straighted out to get more. (We have no credit, a deliberate choice because we can’t handle it well so it’s safer not to have it at all.) The guests arrived with a turkey and home-frozen corn and some other goodies, and I still managed to fuss over the details. We had plenty to go around, and when they realized what was going on they pitched in from their already stretched-to-the-limit wallets! We had a great time together.
Then this morning, a check arrived from a bill I’d sent out weeks ago, and the other check was sorted out and cleared. All of a sudden, things are completely turned around and my stretched-to-the-limit self can relax, and the whole world looks brighter. Nothing like getting right to the wire before things shift around! It Always works out, always has, and I trust God that it always will. So why do I fret every single stinkin time it happens?! Because I’m me, I’m human, and that’s the way I process things.
So glad to be ending the year on a positive note though, and hope that you are feeling good about your year and how it’s gone? Are you wishing good riddance to 2011, or bidding it a wistful farewell? I’ve no resolutions at this point, though I’m really feeling the itch to get running again so that will likely happen in the next week or so … I first started running on Jan 2 of 2007, so perhaps that’s a good day to shoot for.
Thanks so much for your support this year, all your comments and clicks and love sent my way are truly appreciated. Wishing you a peaceful, grateful, and happy new year!
Lots of love,
Bethany
Reader Comments (4)
It's scary how our finances mirror yours. We are constantly waiting on clients to place photo orders and then send a payment. Lately everyone wants to know what they can have for free. It makes me nuts. You don't go to Macy's and ask what is free! Oh well, hopefully things will turn around in 2012.
agreed, hopefully things will shift around! seems we've been living hand to mouth for the last 10 years though, so I'm afraid my hope index is rather low, but my acceptance that this is just the way things will be for the foreseeable future is much higher than it used to be. defeatist or accepting? not sure, but i'm a lot less fussed about it than i used to be :).
Glad your money thing got straightened out!
Isn't it amazing how we manage (or at least try) to deprive ourselves of friends because we're so worried about the quality of our hospitality? Aren't these our FRIENDS? It's funny to me how many times we don't do things because we are silly enough to think our real friends would care. OK, maybe we can skip hosting the debutante party, but dinners with people who already know us and who pretty much only want to visit us for the company? I fret constantly over whether my house is clean enough (never), whether the kids will behave (also unlikely), whether we will have the right food for the group based on special diets, religion, allergies, gourmet chef guests, whatever! For the longest time I dreaded inviting over one group of friends because one of the wives is a kosher/vegetarian/gourmet chef and I can barely make steamed carrots so how the heck could I feed her??? In the end it's all silly, and the times when I've gotten over it and just ordered pizza or made spaghetti I've still had just as good a time. Why do we do this to ourselves?
I feel sort of ambivalent about 2011. I mean, great stuff happened but then all these people died. I just can't bring it in me to be happy or sad to see it go. It was. Not it's not. Still assessing 2012, it's going to have to prove itself.