I forgot my son's chess class today ...
Monday, October 3, 2011 at 08:45PM 
A Cool sculpture at the Bring To Light festival we went to this past weekend. I think fall has stolen my brain cells, I swear they’re leeching away as the sun gets lower in the sky! It wasn’t until two hours after D’s chess class started that I noticed last week’s class in my planner, and realized I never wrote it in for today! I’m not feeling badly about it and am thankful that he was at the library with his dad at the time, so by the time he got home he didn’t care all that much about it. Mom forgot, plain and simple!
I can’t remember everything like I used to, and I think it’s my gradual change of focus from me to us to all of us that’s the root of it. I used to happily keep my checkbook in my head, remember appointments for weeks in advance without writing them down, and get almost everything on my grocery list without ever looking at it, if I even bothered to write one. Sure I forgot things, but overall I felt like I could stay on top of things, even big events, with minimal writing. I was pretty organized too when it came to digital files, work files, and papers and receipts.
Now? I’m having trouble even remembering what that felt like. I simply can’t do it any more, and while forgetting appointments isn’t common, it still not surprising to me given how my brain works these days. I can’t keep it all straight in my head anymore. I’ve managed to get pretty organized about my homeschooling, which I’ve HAD to do or it just doesn’t happen. It’s one more thing to keep track of though, one more task that gets added to the daily list of musts. I’m pretty much the schedule-keeper for the entire family, and as both my husband and I freelance there are a lot of variables to take into account.
I don’t know how you all do it, especially those of you who have kids in different schools and sports and lessons and clubs and all the trappings of teenagehood. My kids aren’t at that stage yet, and I dread it. I also hate the feeling that I’m dependent on a piece of paper or a computer or a fancy phone to keep track of my lists … why can’t my brain be enough? Part of it is rebellion against the complexity of life that seems to be the norm, and the feeling that I’m running in circles instead of moving forward. Some of it is aging (yes those brain cells are dying off, no matter what I hope otherwise) and some of it is simply that caring for and about 4 people is a lot more intensive than caring for one. My wits are scattered about in a vain attempt to keep track of four people’s socks and wishes and favorites and papers and power cords and memory cards and to-dos and heights and accomplishments. It’s not very sanity-inducing, and I have to know when to let go and just give over the responsibility to those who should be taking it on themselves anyway, or bear the consequences.
So today? I forgot a biggish one but that’s just how it is. It’s in the calendar for next week, and my wee brain has managed to remember that we agreed last week to have it then despite the fact that it’s Columbus day, though I really should go email the organizer to confirm.
What have you forgotten recently? Anything big and drama-inducing? Do tell, the juicier the better :). For the record I’ve been known to forget many birthdays (including my own siblings), leave behind things I’ve bought, forget keys and promises and meetings and playdates and phone calls and bills and don’t get me started on forgetting names! I forget them all the time, and often remember them 5 minutes after the person has left the room, kicking myself of course. If you’ve been one of the kindly souls who have pretended that you don’t remember my name either, thank you! Some of you are in the same boat I know, and really can’t remember either. So, do tell, what’s a bit I forgot! moment in your past?
Question of the Week, family, home life, mom guilt, oops! | tagged aging, forgetting, scheduling
Reader Comments (5)
I'm sure I've forgotten something, I just can't remember what, which is rather telling, don't you think?
Right now I am missing my wallet! I am not even where to start with making all the phone calls to cancel stuff...UGGGGGG!
I have been unable this month to remember much of anything. I get where I'm going and don't miss things (yet) but I can't recall lyrics when I'm singing or the names of things or what time something is supposed to happen. The biggest forgetting I ever did though was years ago. My boyfriend a the time and I were sitting on the subway talking about something trivial and realized that our anniversary was four days previous and neither of us had even cared. We'd been together probably 4 years at this point. HUGE RED FLAG!
This type of thing is completely typical of me. I need lists and yet more lists.
What I seem to do more and more often at the moment is plan two things for the same day. I am completely aware of both things but my brain does not seem to register that they are both due to happen at the same time. And then, at the last minute, I have to cancel one or let someone down. I don't understand why my brain doesn't register that they can't both happen at once.
I think we carry so much information in our brains and make so many little decisions all the time, some that we don't even realise we are making - like what to eat for tea, or whether a friend can come round to play, or which books need to go to school today, and that it's gym club tonight so we need to get clothes ready and the library books need to go back, and Josh left his toothbrush in the dining room and on and on it goes, It is hardly surprising that we are completely overloaded.
Phew, I feel stressed just reading my comment. I feel overloaded. And that makes me even less able to remember it all. So I'll just make another list...
If I didn't go for a run every so often I think I'd go mad!
Ugh, so with all of you! All that little stuff, all the time, and the drama if it does't work like trying to go to bed without baby or why can't we brush our teeth after breakfast when we're running out the door and our toothbrushes are upstairs and Emma's not allowed to use the toothpaste without supervision because last time she emptied the entire tube on the sink and mommy laid her shirt there... Actually, your question is timely because I am having a really hard time right now with something I lost. At the end of this summer, I ran out of room on my camera card. My husband had the laptop with him and there was a big event coming up, so I ended up buying a new camera card to make do until I could download. Of course, now I can't find that card. It happened to have pictures from the hurricane, most importantly these really cool memories where the girls Poppop took them swimming in the rain before it got too rough, and the day after when the playground got turned into a water park and the girls splashed and had the best time ever. I know that they're just pictures and that we still HAVE the memories, but my heart feels like I've lost a piece of me. Silly I guess, but it' been dragging on me for days. I think part of it is that I have been so bad with memory stuff lately, the other day someone asked and I couldn't remember how much two of my daughters weighed at birth, something I thought I would never forget, and so I feel like if it isn't recorded in pictures how will I remember???