Q of the Week : What (if anything) do you expect to get for Valentine's Day?
Monday, February 8, 2010 at 02:12PM 
Expectations are rarely a good idea in terms of gifts, but I bet at least most of us secretly have them. I’m the queen of telling myself I have no expectations, but then realizing later (in my disappointment) that I really did have them! Grr. Better to never expect and be pleasantly surprised, yes?
However, I still want to know … what do you expect to get for Valentine’s Day? I grew up in a house where holidays were faithfully acknowleged with a treat and a card at our place at the breakfast table. We almost always ate together, and it became a fun ritual to see something colorful on our plates in the morning. I don’t manage anything remotely regular like that, but sometimes the kids make or get cards, and I do whatever comes to mind. It’s almost always last-minute!
This Sunday, I expect I’ll have a card from my mom to open (she’s never missed a year yet) and likely some kind of card from Douglas that he’s made in class. They get less elaborate as they get older, but they did make Christmas cards so I won’t be too shocked if something pink or red comes home. Other than that, I have none. My husband doesn’t do holidays, and I’m determined not to make him feel guilty if he doesn’t. I’ll probably bring him coffee in bed, and call it a day :).
So, what are your true holiday expectations?
Email Article to Friend
Reader Comments (7)
I was laughing this morning while listening to a girl who called into a radio station who was complaining that her boyfriend didn't get her anything for Valentine's Day. The thing is she TOLD HIM not to get her anything and for once he probably did what she told him to do. The argument was that men should simply assume that when women say "don't get me anything" they really mean "get me something or you will get NONE".
For me ... I expect (maybe) flowers, dinner and some ... um ... sexy time (to quote Borat). I don't expect much else. I certainly do not expect jewelry mainly because I don't like jewelry that have hearts on them. I really don't want stuffed animals or bubble bath because they will end up going to my daughter. If he gets me a massage it better be for a couples massage.
To me the holiday is not about ME. It is about US. So, getting a gift that is just for me to enjoy doesn't seem appropriate.
A card-from my honey. The night before we have a date night scheduled and will be staying overnight in a hotel thanks to a great deal on priceline. This was planned and it just happens to be Valentines the next day.
For my kids in the past I have gotten them candy in the past-this year only 1 small package of heart M&M and nail polish for the older 1 and a heart shaped ice pack and lip gloss for the younger one. There are so many opportunties to eat sweets. I really want to tone this done.
For me, it's all about the chocolate. No fruity centers or nuts, please. Dark is good, butter cream delightful. No cheesy brands...Russel Stover is okay...wait a minute. My husband probably isn't going to read this. Never mind.
This subject is actually pretty close to my heart. (No holiday pun intended.) I remember being about 9 years old and trying to cut out black cats to decorate our windows for Halloween. I lived in Navy Housing and EVERYONE decked their houses out for the different holidays. I loved it, my mom did not. But when she saw my sadness over not being as skilled with the scissors as I wanted to be (pathetic) she took me to the store and sucked up the cost of a few window sticks on's and then brought me home and helped me make a pizza box cemetery complete with weird leafy scarecrow. I have the most traditional expectations of holidays. Today is actually my birthday and owing to LIFE (husband being sick and job issues) things did not go...well. I spent a lot of the day sad that he has such a crappy job and that I have to say, "Suck it up." I did get some nice gifts and went out with friends to a movie (just incidentally, not as a birthday thing) but the cake thing fell through, and I find myself as a 27 year old grownup being sad because I have to wait til next year to make a wish. I WISH I could manage no expectations, but it's just not in me. It feels unfair to expect so much from people around me, but on the other side I'm like HEY! I celebrate YOUR birthday! when they probably would be just as happy if I let it slide by.
I must be immature. But eh. Maybe next year I'll have a Happy Birthday. And as for Valentine's Day? Maybe I'll get my husband a box of candy, hide it and if he doesn't do anything just eat it myself. (Wow, I'm a cheerful one tonight.)
Red Lotus Mama > Sounds good ;)
Fishwomen > I hear you, inspired me to go out and buy one box of candy for each of the boys, and after looking at card prices ($4 each) decided to make my own.
Rahti > I'll pretend to blame you for the Milky Way Dark purchase and consumption this morning :) the minute you said dark chocolate i started craving it!
Erin > So sorry the birthday sucked, hugs to you. I do like the hidden chocolate idea, I feel lost if I don't have a piece squirreled away somewhere! Expectations suck, but I agree they're almost impossible to rid yourself of, I certainly haven't! I forgot my husband reads this too, we'll see what he makes of it :).
Hmmm. Valentines Day. Who decided to make it a National Day of Love? I have always dreaded Feb 14 just because, in general, people always make such a big deal out of it. Who got who what, did you get your romantic dinner, flowers etc...There was a time that when my hopes were high, he (the ex) either forgot, didn't want to acknowledge it, didn't care or was very insensitive. No words said. So, I started buying myself gifts! (not just Valentine gifts) Gifts that I imagined that if someone loved me or even thought highly enough of me, I just might receive. Nnaarrr!
Now that I have married my soul mate, (3 yrs Jan12) I have learned something very simple & easy. I don't need anything but him and "our" boys, his unconditional love, understanding and support.
I did get a wonderful surprise on Sunday, Feb 7! I got a homemade, written Valentine's card from him. He thought it was the National "marked" day of love, ONE week early! Better early than late. It was beautiful and will treasure it with all my heart! What a dear, sweet man!
Back when we were pre-kid I would get bunches of roses, rose petals scattered across everything, cards, dinner out, the whole nine yards. Now he usually makes a sweet card, which I treasure just as much because our times feels so much more precious. If he remembers sometimes I get a box of chocolates from the supermarket if he swings by on the way home from work. :-) I always do like celebrating holidays, and this year the ladies in the family have organized an outing to the ballet while the "men" (and my kiddo) hang out together.
The kiddo usually makes cards too, but that is usually a Momma-directed project so I'm never the recipient of those.