YES. I unfortunately wish I had reconsidered having kids. My husband would have been all for not having kids. They do not amuse him in the least. I love them, of course, but I and our marraige have become so different and not in a good way. We fight,fight,fight and it is mostly over the kids! He likes to spend,spend,spend, and it has caused our finances to be awful. I want to save for the kids future but he want stuff now for himself. He is unemotional and unloving,sleeping all day while I take care of kids. My advice? If your going to have kids, pick someone you know will be a great father.

I do not think regretting having kids is necessarily a sign of being not suitable for parenthood. My wife and I have kids and regret the decision virtually daily, as the kids fight with us and with each other and with anyone else they encounter. Both are emotionally handicapped (apparent only as they got older) and this has torn apart our lives in a terrible way. Are we unsuitable as parents for our kids? Probably, but not necessarily for unsuitable ANY kids. We will, however, never have more kids. This is very painful to write, but sometimes stating the truth is painful.

I wish I had reconsidered having kids. I love my kids dearly but miss being me. My husband has happily lumped me into the identity of "wifenkids". Romance is gone. I HATE it. HATE IT HATE IT. There's my childhood tantrum. My entire 20s have been occupied as someone's "mom" and "wife". I don't feel fun and sexy and free and I miss those things. Love my kids but they deserved better as a mom and I deserved to be happy. It just is a bummer for everyone. I resent my husband a lot since he has the sexist idea that all women LIVE for motherhood.

Yeah....I have to say that I hate motherhood, and if I could have seen where I'd be now (two girsl, 10 and 2, and one-year old boy), I would have never had any. I'm an artist...at least I used to be...and it seems as though my art-making days are completely over...and replaced by..'mom, she's spitting on the tv!' When it was just me and my oldest, things weren't that bad, but then I met my idiot husband, who doesn't really want to help out, and I had these other two with him. Now?I hate this life.

Thank you all for sharing. I regret my decision to have a child a s well. My daughter is beautiful and lovable. It is not her at all. I just hate my life. I hate the loss of freedom. I am compl;etely bored by the kiddie playgroups, parties and just the repetitiveness of it all. I miss my job and I feel like a prisoner of my house. I resent my husband even though I agreed to have a child, I was only about 50% for the idea. I guess I was afriad I was missing out on an important part of life. I wish there was something i could do to create some enthusiasm because motherhood is going to be my main role for a very long time.

I loved being a mother, thought I was pretty good at it too. I was a single mother for many years having 2 boys. Then I met someone, never married but lived with him for 28 yrs. We both raised my boys together, as there father was out of the picture.
I did things with my children, gave them what I thought was a good life. I thought we were a happy family. Then jhey grew up and got married and started to hate me. My oldest started to call me evil. He told his wife I beat him with a coat hanger and did not feed him enough. My youngest does not remember all of this because there is 8 yrs apart, but believes it happened. My youngest never comes to see me or talks to me. I used to ask him why and all I got out of him was "I don't know". He has to drive past my house to go to the Navy Reserves once a month and never stops to see me. My boyfriend of 28 yrs passed away 2 yrs ago and I really could use my children. But I am all alone because I was a bad mother and when they were old enough to get away from me they did. To bad they were not taken away from me and could have had a better life. I do not remember doing anything bad but I must have if they do not want to be around me. I may as well not have had any children as I am all alone now as if I have not had them. I do not want to force myself on them if they do not want to be around me, so I remain all alone. So you can be a bad mother and not even know it. Iam the worst.

Hmm...I don't know if having kids was the right thing to do. I love my kids and am proud of each of them. However, since I raised all 4 of them on my own...without family, friends, or any help from my ex-husband...I am the one that is LEFT ALL ALONE. I deliberately centered all of my work and activities around the kids...and wanted to be the best mom that i could be...in spite of our circumstances. I bought a house, went to work, cleaned the house and spent every night at home with my kids...cooking and doing homework with them. I rarely went out with friends, with the exception of outings with other mothers with their own brood.
Each child has grown into a well adjusted and accomplished person. However, what do I get in return? NOTHING! My daughters rarely call, my sons keep advising me to move to a warmer climate nearer my brothers...and hardly ever make time for even a 10 minute phone call to me. Sometimes, I lay in bed at night...alone, without a lover/husband/boyfriend...and am glad that the kids are doing well...but it was all at a great price. What price? For me its, financial struggles, low pension benefits, and a broken down body to match. If only my KIDS would take a bit of time out to visit with me...it might have been worth it. Unfortunately, they take me for granted and always assume that since I was so independent while raising them...that they don't need to take time out to be with me. I don't want that much time...just a bit of consideration!
I have friends, and a job. This is the reality of having kids sometimes. Its worthwhile for your kids...but not so much for the mother!

Thank you all for sharing your stories so candidly. I have always known that I wasn't cut out to be a mother, and I think part of that is the fact that I never bonded with my mother...she suffered from depression when I was born. Now in my mid-forties, although I know I made the right decision, I sometimes wonder "what if...." I am afraid to be lonely in my old age, and as that is now closer than it once seemed! I am genuinely sorry for those of you who gave your all for your children and now do not feel that they are there for you. I hope they will see the light before it is too late.

I am 48 years old and have two sons, 18 and 27 by two different fathers, who are both deceased. I raised both boys on my own. To be sure I could pay for college for both of them I continued taking classes while teaching school. I eventually earned a doctoral degree and am now a professor. My oldest son went off to college and immediately dropped out, moved out of the dorm, and lost contact with me. He drops in and out of my life and now lives in NY. He was gifted and had tremendous potential with a full scholarship. I rarely hear from him. I could die and he would never know. My youngest son just turned 18. He just registered for classes at the university where I teach. He has been involved with drugs and been in trouble with the law. He too, comes and goes and has basically abandoned me except when he needs money (which I no longer provide unless it is school-related). Having kids was a mistake. I am leaving any assets/money I have to charities when I die. Ha. DON'T HAVE KIDS!

Thanks for being so honest. I am 28 years old and trying my very best to be a good mother to a child that in truth I never wanted. I hate my life and just want to go back to the way it was before. I miss my freedom, I miss being able to go out with friends when I want, I miss being able to ride my horse, I miss being a size 10, I miss my sleep, I miss my own free time and most of all I miss being me! Selfish I know but there are times I feel I just cannot go on any longer. My husband does not understand and is always at work, its not his fault he has to work to keep us, I still work four days a week and to be honest I enjoy it cause I am me and not somebodys Mum. I think I do love my daughter but I just hate the life changes she has brought. My husband wanted a child so I gave him one and in truth he never has time to do much with her. I feel so bad becuase I know it is not her fault but she drives me insane. I have to keep this great pretence up of being so happy in front of family and friends when really I have never been so miserable in all my life. I look at people with other children and feel such a failure. In truth, I'm just not cut out to be a Mother. If only I could turn back the clock............................

Hello I totally know how you feel I actually feel the same way but Im a single mother and I am embarrassed about it. Im humiliated by who I had a kid by and I was told to have the baby and I wouldn't raise it the people who said that they would raise ( the father and his mother ) lied to me. Im stuck with a kid I didn't want by a man I didn't love or like. He is ugly and my daughter looks just like him. I only laid with him because he had money and I was honestly homeless I was living with someone and we broke up and I had no one to turn to. Other than that I wouldn't of. I was going to get an abortion and after I was badgered to keep it and promised that I wouldn't have to raise it I have had nothing but hell I been homeless with out a car ( I still am) with out lights at time without food without medicine alone I lost my weight my life my everything I hae a job and I had the job before I had the little girl I even struggle to love her Im stuck and I never get a break. I decided to go back to school full time and that is my only haven other than that I hate being a single mother it's humiliating I hated that I had a kid I wish I never did it I wish I was dead sometimes. I feel trapped like I am doing a jail sentence for a crime and I had co conspirators who walked off and Im sitting in a jail cell . I hate life and if I wasn't in school full time I would kill myself seriously but I have something to live for which is my educational goal I hate my daughter her father and grandmother I think she is ugly and it feels like I a night mare. However I do take care of her and give her whatever she wants and needs but I can't get a break I only have one bed so I don't get a break when I sleep I mean I know how you feel but the only thing I can say is your feelings are legit they are not fact or fiction they are legit and your entitled to feel the way you do

I am saddened and shocked by the comments on this page. Every person here should take responsibilty for the choices that they have made in their lives and stop blaming others. Your choice was to have a child. Saying you did something to please a partner is no excuse. How dare you take a decision like bringing a child into this world so lightly? You all sound unbelievably self absorbed. Everyone is capable of achieving what they want in their lives but this is entirely related to how much effort and hard work you choose to put in. I am always so amused by mothers who blame pregnancy and their children for their weight gain. In reality your weight problems are due entirely to your laziness to get off your backsides and do some exercise and your weakness and lack of self control in eating more than your body requires to function. And as for the older mothers who expect their children's lives to revolove around them. You spent your entire early parenting years complaining about the presence of your kids and now that they are out of your home you spend your time complaining that they are not around enough. Are you actually listening to how illogical your complaints are? I have a mother in law who says she wishes her children were never born. She has a son who is highly accomplished, well respected, loved, a wonderful father, the list goes on. He never argues with her or complains about the terrible comments she makes. She has no interest in her grandchildren at all. And still he continues to visit and make an effort with her on a regular basis. All I see is a self-obsessessed person who only has herself to blame for her unhappiness. The sooner we all take responsibility for our own happiness and stop expecting it to be provided by someone else the better. To the little old ladies who are lonely and have regrets, your stories don't quite add up do they? Have you acknowledged the part that you have to play in your situation? Probably not. Kindness and love will be returned full fold. Perhaps if you had not spent a lifetime resenting the children that you chose to have they may be a bit more willing to show you some love and affection now that they are adults? The words of Kahlil Gibran best express my feelings on this subject: "And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children." And he said: Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday." Good luck to those of you whol fill your lives with negativity. In a world where suffering is so prevelant I hope you gain some perspective and realise how thankfull you should be for the health and potential happiness that you have in your lives. Until you make and effort to change your pessimistic outlook, you will never find happiness. And good luck to your poor children. I truly hope that they do not perpetuate your mistakes in their adult lives.

hey alicat!! Shame on you!!!

People like you make it impossible for others to tell the truth!!!

They posted here because they can't walk around town telling everyone they know how they really feel.
The more people that come out and tell the truth the better our world will be. Maybe if there are more posts like these there would be less unwanted pregnancys or better timed ones.

Many times I have regret for having kids but then they do make me happy sometimes.
my older sons never call and seem to not care but then we get together and all is well. I am not happy with their life choices but I'm not happy with my own as well.

I will show my daughter this page so she doesn't have kids early.

I never wanted children and I tried to get sterilized but it is really difficult to convince doctors to do it.
Too many people have to go thru this alone with no support and then people like you come along to make things worse.

Your post is too long anyway. Blah Blah Blah. You love to listen to yourself. How did you find this page anyway?

You were looking for people who regret having kids so you could post and spread your poison.

I sympathize with everyone here. It is a terrible terrible realization to have that while you love you kids you hate, hate, hate, HATE, the role of being a parent. I wish I had never had kids. The loss of freedom is tough, but many here have said it really well: it is the loss of yourself that burns your soul to ashes.

I had my daughter coz my husband wanted a child, I
Didn't. I love her to bits but I hate hate hate being a mum
If I could go back I would and women should be free to say
How they really feel instead of all these women making out
Motherhood is so awesome it isn't it sucks!!!!!!! I have had my
One child to please my husband and I am now off to be
Sterilized so my body will be mine again!!!!!! I want to be me
Again!!!!!

And alicat it's the fact that most moms feel the need to make
Other women feel that to find complete happiness is to reproduce
That women often will just become mums as everyone makes it
Sound so fantastic. Sometimes I think most mums regret becoming
Mums and want every other women to make the same mistake
So they give the impression of eternal happiness through children
That is why women who are not really suited to motherhood get
Dragged into it by these idiotic mums. I love my daughter but I sure
As hell don't glamorize it. I tell my childfree friends to stay that
Way if they want true happiness. All my friends are childfree because
To be honest other mums bore me rigid!!!! I don't give a crap if
Your child has done this or your child has done that. I don't talk to
My friends about my daughter because they would dump me
Straightaway and say get a life!!!!!!

And alicat i Make sure my daughter doesn't play with dolls
And she told me she hates dolls and she spends alot of time
Reading and writing as I can't stand the way girls are expected
To play with dolls and play mummies, it makes my stomach churn
I have already told my daughter that the only important
Thing in life is a good careerand not be tied to bringing up
Children. I know lots of women who have also banned this doll
Playing as they think that encourages little girls to want to
Become mums.

I am 50 year old female. I had my daughter (only child) when I was 20...she (my daughter) is now 30 years old, but the fact that she is that age, does not make life easier on me as a mother as one may think it would. She is a very needy person. I never was growing up, At the age she is now I was getting married, and then 7 years later I bought my first house. She on the other hand, only seems to be interestd in being in a relationship..whether it's a good relationship she's getting into, never really seems important to her. I am at my wits end, and am truly wishing that I never had her!!!! I am sick and tired of being a mother!! I did the best I could and all of my relatives and friends think I'm a terrific mother, but it was and is just too damn much at this point in my life!... I should be able to get a break at this stage and point of my life, considering that I am now not in good health..but does that stop my grown 30 year old from running to me with every little minor or major problem she has...that created for herself ?....NO!!!. Her biological father has never been part of her life, but she did have a stepfather who was a very good father. It is just a shame!!... I did my best to raise her to be self sufficient, and yet she is always running back to me for EVERYTHING!! My own relationship with my mother was very cold...my mother only had warmth for her men...whatever man she happened to be with at the time, I was determined to be a better mother than my mother ever was to me and my sisters, but yet, it seems maybe I mothered too well, or too much, since I can't seem to get my 30 year old to stand on her own and stop running to me with her crap...the majority of which she creates herself, and she always runs to me, but she never takes my advice, so I am to the point that I am seriously contemplating leaving and not telling her where I am. I should be able to at least have a stress free week, instead of.....if i'm having a good day she'll call me up, or email me with some of her idiotic drama and spoil the day or whole week for me constantly!! I am sick to death of being a mother, and I envy those who never had children...and I say to all...DON"T HAVE CHLDREN!! They just sap the life out of you!! and to me being a mother has mainly been an unfulfilling experience that I wish I had never gotten into. I also have to wonder if it is just that she is the most selfish person I know since like I said earlier, I have major health issues, and she knows this!! and the last thing that I need is more stress...but yet, she doesn't seem to care, even though in her twisted mind she thinks she does care. If my mother (even though we are not close) was going through illness, I would not be making her health worse by pounding her constantly with my problems like my very selfish grown daughter does to me!!..I also wonder how can a person really love you when they seem like they are trying to kill you by stressing you with their crappy dramas all of the time. It is just selfish!! .....plain selfishness on her part...and when i'm dead, what the hell is she going to do then, since she is the one pusing me into a fast grave!!! I don;tmind helpin her with her problems, but at her age, there shouldn'tbe so many so often, a nd she should have friends she can discuss things with!! so I feel totally ready to skip town!! cause this ridiculousness with my selfish as hell daughter is going to stop one way or another!!!!!!!!

And as far as people like that Alicat person above is concerned...go away idiot Alicat!...YOU are probably just like my selfish grown ass daughter....you expect parenting to be a life sentence, which is just what it feels like to me now!!..a person would think that as they get older it would get easier, I can tell you from my experience that this is not the case....no matter how much I wish it were!!...since when does a person owe their life to a grown person who already took up the majority of it??!! You obviously have no clue Alicat dummy, you are probably a pain in the ass to your mom the way my daughter is to me. Children need to realize that once they are grown they need to be able to stand alone. Or get some good friends and moan to them, instead of burdening us parents with all of their nonsense! My so called mother made sure to tell my sisters and I this everyday. Kids should not expect mothers to be there for them til they die, it is not fair, and definitely not reasonable. All I feel for my daughter is resentment and anger, and the nagging wish that I never had her, as bad as this may sound, it's the truth!!!, and to all the people like Alicat who may have something to say about how I feel...all I have to say to you all is (F... OFF!!!) you go have a kid and raise it with all the love, support, and understanding in the world, and then get my age, and get medically sick...only to have them drag their constant self created drama back to you every week, and see how the hell you would feel!!

I'm with you Alicat. These children will not grow into secure adults, it's very sad. Yes, parenthood is hard work but to say you wished you'd never had them...don't get that. The post from the women who hates her "ugly" daughter is especially bad.