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It shifted all my priorities in my marriage. Not that that's bad, but when you have a baby on your one year anniversary it's hard. Here I was still learning to be a wife, and now I was a mom, too. It also played on all my insecurities, I mean, sure I babysat all the time and had lots of practice, but this baby wasn't going home at the end of the night. There were lots of days and nights that I didn't know if I could handle it. I guess what I'm saying is that it caused me to look at myself in a different way and Iwasn't sure if I liked what I saw.

The birth of my son, when in my late thirties, made me realize that I had become very comfortable with having all my time to myself. What a shock to become married and having a premature baby...all in less than 1 year. My personal time is gone and has been for a while. Giving birth changed every single thing about my life. That's a lot. The biggest is the ongoing trial to not be angry about my lack of personal freedom. As bad as that sounds, it's the truth. The benefits have been wonderful and the joys huge, and because of the great joys I received, it changed me from selfish to giving, because it had to, if I wanted to be a good Mom.